What Is Essential

Essential and non essential are common phrases but we’ve been hearing them more often for weeks now. With more and more ‘time’ on my hands I’ve been contemplating these expressions more deeply and experientially. What is absolutely necessary and what is not are frequent ponderings. Basic necessities - food, water, shelter, sun, fresh air, sleep, movement, relationships, right work, breathing - essential. Closets full of clothes, 24/7 news, fear, worry, mindless shopping, eating out - not so much. As the world grinds to a halt may be we all begin to see things in a new light. Circumstances that have always been with us such as suffering and disparity are being illuminated.

Since age seventeen I knew I wanted to be a social worker. I have stayed on this helping profession path for over forty years consequently in the service of others for a long time. Now in the time of COVID and everything at a standstill I am giving myself permission to replenish, do less and savor what is essential for me without guilt. Sleeping later, going for long walks with my husband, preparing all my meals and planning my garden are taking on new levels of importance and reverence. Not needing to be productive and not having to be as conscious of time are curious entities. Mid morning today I simply sat outside in the sunshine, was still and watched a carpenter bee buzz around, enjoying my awareness of this delicious moment. How often in our busy lives are we not noticing these simple events that are always happening around us.

I often use the metaphor of putting one’s mask on first as we are taught to do on an airplane when oxygen is lost. For most of us who do too much for others, giving to oneself first can feel awkward and strange at first but, actually are generous and sustainable acts. Self care is not selfish, mean or a luxury and yes, essential. The healthier we are the more we can navigate this marathon we’re in with ease and continuity. As in nature, energy is not wasted unnecessarily and on needless things such as judgement. While we learn to adjust to our ‘new normal’ it’s Ok to pause and regroup. All ‘hearts on deck’ will be needed as those on the front line will need a break and reinforcements brought in to replace them.

One of the first teachings of Yoga is ‘and now the inquiry’. My hope is that we will be in our ‘stay at home’ place long enough to get comfortable with 'this new normal’ and discover what is absolutely necessary for our own wellbeing. For those of us who are working less may we remember the art of non doing and that less is more. May we discover freedom from obligatory and mindless choices on how we use our time. May our inquiry reveal how little we need and the importance of gratitude and appreciation for what we have. May we care for one another from a place of our own fullness rather than from a place of depletion. May we see the present moment in a new light, not taking anything for granted and remembering we have an opportunity to wake up to what is truly essential. And may we finally acknowledge our interconnectedness, what happens to one happens to us all. May our capacity for compassion and gifting grow and expand, not for just what’s happening in the present moment but in the words of Buzz Lightyear (my granddaughter is into Toy Story right now) ‘to infinity and beyond’

Mind, Body & Nature

This past weekend I led two different Mindful Outdoor Experiences, one on a mountain, the other by a river. Both creating space for participants to pause, breathe with intention and experience present moment awareness through the senses. Research continues to support what we already know and because of what nature writer Mary Reynolds Thompson says “the ancient Earth-consciousness that resides within you-within us all-that you can access any time, in any place, even in the midst of the busiest city….four billion years of Earth wisdom are embedded in your cells.” Participants say these excursions allowed them to notice how often we are distracted and how to come back to the present moment; that being outside and gardening (although a wonderful experience) feels different than just ‘being’ in nature and not even realizing how much time outdoors is needed for rebalancing and realligning the psyche and the soul.

Last fall I graduated from Kripalu’s newest School of learning, Mindful Outdoor Leadership. “This training—which combines forest bathing, yoga, Ayurveda, outdoor skills, and an overview of relevant research on nature’s health benefits….. is designed for those who are called to share nature’s gifts by integrating their love of the outdoors with mindfulness.” Meaningful connection with the generative powers of nature is an essential part of a healthy and balanced life. With the average American now spending about eleven hours a day on screens and ninety percent of our time indoors our health is suffering. I now humbly call myself a certified Mindful Outdoor Guide, trained by the knowledgeable Kripalu faculty who are a ‘dedicated group of earth stewards, environmental protectors, and nature lovers deeply committed to sharing with you the wondrous gifts of Mother Earth.’

Recently, I read an article, Ice Wisdom, The Ice is Speaking, about the effects of climate change. As long ago as 1963, two young Eskimo-Kalaallit men ‘noticed that water was coming out of the Big Ice way up the wall. When they returned and told the Elders of that strange phenomenon – no one believed them. How could water move, when the temperature has been less than minus 30 degrees Celsius (-22 ºF) for about three months. Later that winter other Elders went hunting and upon returning confirmed that water was trickling out of the Big Ice at the Big Wall. That became the first sign that something was amiss – not at home – but in the world.’ We can no longer ignore what is happening with our planet. For many years now I have been offering therapy and programs that include nature as a co-therapist. Consistantly, attendees have found their participation meaningful, informative and healing. I must confess, these offerings help me as well. The work I do and how I live my life must mirror my intention for this planet I call home; it must be sustainable, efficient and regenerative.

For more information on joining one of my next mindful outdoor events or bringing my services to your group or organization please contact me at www.livingbalanced.org. Although studies continue to document the numerous health benefits of time in nature; come see for yourself how being with the living earth and the more than human world can calm the nervous system, quiet the mind and sooth the spirit. See you on the path.

Sunday Morning Musings: What has yoga done for you lately

Sunday Morning

Sunday mornings are precious in my house as they are leisurely, slow and unstructured. On sunny mornings my yellow walls and oak table turn my kitchen into a sanctuary. Usually there is nothing on my calendar allowing for a leisurely breakfast with my beloved, a savored cup of java (one of my adored vises I will be taking a break from during my upcoming spring detox) and to peruse the Sunday paper. Most of the time my optimistic outlook is unphased by the headlines but today my mindset took a turn toward despair with headlines such as ‘Death toll at 50 in mosque attacks in New Zealand’, “Do-or-Die decision for the Chesapeake Bay’ and ‘Depression rising for the young’. Where has our concern for ourselves and our planet gone, my entire life efforts dedicated to healing, does it make a difference?

‘When despair for the world grows in me’ as Wendell Berry so elegantly describes in his poem ‘The Peace of Wild Things’, a simple stroll to my favorite spot in nature usually does the trick. Most likely a nature connection moment will happen later, but for now off to a yoga class I go. Sometimes the call to be with other like minded souls is stronger then the pull of nature. The soothing sound of the teacher’s voice, the soft music in the background and the slow cadence of our collective breathing allows me to ‘come in the peace of wild things’ and ‘come into the presence of still water’. Even after seventeen years of practicing this ancient art of self care, savasana still allows me to experience ‘For a time to rest in the grace of the world, and am free’. That is what yoga did for me today. What has yoga done for you lately.

The Alchemy of Compost

  A recent meandering through my garden revealed what I thought was a squash plant. Blossoms came, some were eaten by rabbits, some dried up and a few began to bear fruit. I waited patiently for them to grow, looking forward to some end of the season stir fry additions, but instead of squash, mini pumpkins began to emerge. Funny thing though, I had not planted any pumpkin seeds. A pleasant feeling washed over me when I realized these little treats were the result of the decorative pumpkins I tossed into my compost pile last year. 

The process of alchemy that happens in my compost bin has gifted me with not only excellent nutrition for my garden but some little orange surprises as well. Composting physical material makes sense and is ‘good medicine’ for the soil and our air while saving money and landfill space. A similar argument can be made for composting psychological garbage. Carrying around unresolved remnants of our past is wreaking havoc on our mental health, costing millions of dollars in health care, keeping many from living a full life and taking up way too much space in our psyches. I read a story about a therapist who had his clients write down what was bothering them on different rocks. The client then had to carry the rocks around in a sack until finally one day the sack was put down and a declaration uttered, ‘I can’t carry this around any more’. The therapist said, ‘so which ones do you want to take out’.

Composting psychological garbage can be beneficial when we learn how to view the past from another perspective and learning from our experiences. Some of my favorite questions to ask clients when stuck on wishing things were different are: what are my takeaways, what is no longer serving me and what do I want to ‘pay forward’. As spiritual teacher Ram Dass says, ‘everything is grist for the mill’ and no experience is wasted. Rituals around releasing can be helpful, also, and as simple as imagining giving one’s sorrows to the earth or writing them on a piece of paper for burning, burying or placing in moving water. My teachers often say the earth loves to receive your pain, sorrow and suffering for transmuting and recycling. 

Whether concerned about carrying around extra weight from the past or about how much physical garbage is thrown away, adding a practice of composting or releasing to one’s life can be an incredible act of reciprocity. One in which receiving is inherently linked to the act of letting go or giving away.

Ahoe